


Finding love in the silence

by Afstory



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Evan "Buck" Buckley, Attempt at Humor, Caring Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Deaf Character, Deaf Eddie, Domestic, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, Hurt Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Idiots in Love, Insecure Evan "Buck" Buckley, Learning Disabilities, Loneliness, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving On, Oblivious Evan "Buck" Buckley, Pining, Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley, becoming friends, learning to cope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:27:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27800761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Afstory/pseuds/Afstory
Summary: Buck is trying to move on after been abandoned by his ex, Eddie is learning to deal with his disability, until a fire throws them both together and Bucks need to help people pushes him close to crossing the line with work but is he willing to give his job up for something meaningful
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So lockdown again in the UK so ended up writing several new fics here is my first one, thanks to Guam_girl10150 for been my beta on this, hope you all enjoy

Buck grabbed his bag, ready to leave his big empty apartment, and head into work. He looked at the note sitting on the side table as a reminder. It had been over three months since he came home from a hard shift to that note and his whole world came crashing down. He knew soon he would have to face the fact the person he fell for was not coming back, that he was alone again. He shakes his head and slams the door as he makes his way down the hall towards the elevator.

As he presses the button to head down to the car park, he stood watching the numbers count down. This became normal for him; most days he was on autopilot, he just felt so numb. He would go to work, paint a happy face on and do the job that he loved, then come home and sit and wallow in the big emptiness of the apartment. He knew it was his fault he was alone, after all, he was the one who suggested they go and visit the places around the world, now though, he regretted it, and to add to the hurt more he hadn’t received a single text or call back for over a week. He knew he was been ghosted, but still, the love was there and the hope that he would get some kind of contact soon.

As the elevator doors opened up to the vast car park that was full, Buck imagines the people and families that must live in the same building, who he rarely sees as he is out early and back late. As he makes his way towards his Jeep, he sees his neighbour.

‘I hope they don’t want to talk to me,’ he thinks to himself.

He hurries himself to his jeep but as he gets there, he hears a voice call out to him.

‘Damn, caught,’ he thinks.

“Hey Evan, how are you today?” Mrs. Chester asks.

“Hey Mrs. C, remember I told you to call me Buck. I’m good, just off to another shift. What are you doing up so early?” Buck asks.

“Oh, I just needed to nip to the shop, wanted to get in before the masses wake,” she chuckles.

“You should give me a knock if you need anything, I don’t mind going out and grabbing it for you,” Buck says; anything to be out of the apartment.

“You’re too kind. Have you heard from Alex?” she questions.

“Not recently, but with times zones and my shifts, it's hard to talk. Anyway, I best be off- don’t want to be late. I'll see you around and remember give me a knock if you or Mr. C need anything,” Buck says with a painted on smile

“I will, I'll bake you something for later. Be safe,” she says as she heads off, and Buck jumps in his jeep.

He looks at the steering wheel and punches it before placing his head on it as he starts to cry. The one question Buck wanted to avoid. His boyfriend left after his father died to travel and find himself, and Buck let him, hell he even encouraged him. His friends told him it wasn’t good, they told him he needed to face facts; that Alex wasn’t coming back, but Buck told them he wasn’t going to listen to that, Alex said he would be back and when they spoke, he always said to Buck he will be back for him. Buck believed the man he loved and the note he left explained to Buck that he would be back for him once he did his traveling. Now over a week with no contact but seeing new posts on social media, it was evident he had been left behind and forgotten.

Sitting there, looking at the charm that swings from the mirror, brings back memories of their first meeting. Buck smiled at his thoughts but turned sad as he realizes he won't ever be happy.

His phone goes off. An unknown number.

“Alex, is that you?” He asks as he answers in hope.

“No, it’s Maddie. Wait, who’s Alex?” She asks.

“It doesn't matter, what do you want?” He had not heard from her in years. Another person who said they would be there but left him, now calling out of the blue.

“I needed to talk. Some things have happened and well... I’m in LA,” she says. 'Oh great, now she is here and most likely in trouble.' Buck was in no mood for it today.

“Got to go, I need to get to work. You can call later, but I may be working late.” He ends the call abruptly, hanging up on his sister.

He gets his seat belt on and starts the engine, driving to work with thoughts of Alex and Maddie now on his mind. He hadn’t heard from her much since she got with Doug. Buck knew he was a douche but she was happy, so let her go on with it, he had his own problems with their parents and coming to terms with his sexuality. As he drives down the roads he focuses on driving and finally arrives at the station. Stepping out he grabs his bag and paints on the fake smile and attitude he had become so used to doing. Walking in he looks over and sees most of his team standing there looking towards the locker room.

“What are we looking at?” Buck asks as he approaches the group.

“The new recruit. Comes highly recommended apparently,” Chimney replies.

“Best watch out Buck, you might not be the favourite anymore.” Hen chuckles as she punches Buck in the arm. He shifts to look at the recruit, but all he can see is their back. They have a hat on but since they are so short it's all he can see.

“Ah, I see you've all noticed our new recruit. We were lucky to get them as they were poised for Station 6, but I persuaded them to join us,” Bobby calls out.

“And what’s their name?” Hen asks.

“It’s recruit Ken-” starts Bobby, but is cut off by Buck who was watching as the person turned.

“Maddie!” Buck exclaims, shocked, and starts walking towards the lockers with his sister now looking at him.

“Evan, what are you doing here?” She says surprised.

“No, the question is what are you doing here at my place of work as a new recruit!” Buck snarls. He was not impressed. She had only just dropped the bomb that she was in LA but now here she was standing in front of him.

“It's complicated Evan; we can talk after the shift,” she says as she turns and walks into the back.

Buck throws his bag down and punches his locker.

“Woah, what rattled your cage? And how do you know the recruit?” Bobby asks.

“She, well... she is my sister. I'm sorry Bobby, but I can't work with her.” Buck looks at his Captain. He knows he sounds childish but it was hard enough focusing at the best of times; now with her here, he knows he would make a mistake.

“Buck, you don’t get to decide who I hire, like I said she comes highly recommend. If I had known about her being your sister, I would have spoken to you first but I didn’t and she didn’t say she knew you so my hands are tied. Get dressed and we will try to work this out,” Bobby speaks with a stern tone.

Buck rolls his eyes and goes to his locker, grabbing his uniform, and quickly changes. His head down as he ties his laces, he knows the person who just walked by was his sister. He didn't even acknowledge her. Chim walks in as he finishes tying his laces.

“Well, this day just got interesting didn’t it? Why didn’t you say we were getting your sister?” Chim asks.

“Not now Chimney, I’m not in the mood” Buck snarls, hoping his tone would put him off.

“No, Buck. I know you put on a front for us, I know you're hurting from... well- you know, but this is your sister and more importantly a part of our team. I get you have some history and we won't pry but like Bobby says; when you’re here it's work and work only. Forget about other things.” Chimney finishes his rant and Buck lets out a sigh.

“When did you become so wise?” Buck chuckles.

“There see, I got you to chuckle! Look, let's get the shift over and we can try to sort this mess later, what do you say?” Chim asks holding his hand out.

Buck reaches and grabs hold, shaking Chim's arm up and down. “Fine, but no promises, I can’t even stand to look at her, I just want to yell at her.” He stares down at the ground.

“I’m sure you have your reasons and I get it. Families can suck, but let’s focus on saving people,” Chim says.

“Okay, I'll see you up there,” Buck says as he takes his leave and heads up the stairs.

When he reaches the top, he sees his sister talking to Bobby and some others. Buck rolls his eyes and grabs an apple from the counter, makes a quick coffee while ignoring everyone that speaks to him. Walking to the other side of the upper floor and taking a seat looking out, he places the cup on the table and pulls out his phone. Repetition kicking in, and he loads up Alex’s social media and sees he’s somewhere in Italy. What hits Buck even more, is when he sees a photo of the one place he mentioned to Alex that he would love to visit. The Colosseum. It's like Alex knew Buck was checking, and this was his way of hurting him but Buck knew deep down Alex wouldn’t do that to him, but the Colosseum image felt apt as he felt like he was in an arena and the lion is waiting to pounce. He can see out of the corner of his eye, Hen and Bobby talking and looking over at him, most likely discussing who was going to come over.

Buck looks back at his phone and continues to scroll through the images.

“Buck, do you think that it's healthy to do that?” Hen questions as she sits.

“Do what? See how my- well, I don’t even know what he is anymore- is getting up to or distracting myself from the shambles that my life has become; even more so thanks to her,” Buck says nodding towards Maddie.

“She is your sister, surely you can't be mad she is here? And maybe it's time you look at the facts with Alex; he has ghosted you and hasn’t been in contact and I’m sorry to be so blunt Buck but I feel you need this- he isn’t coming back! He left you and I’m sorry he did but you deserve so much better, and it is time you move on and enjoy life before the sorrow consumes you!” Hen finishes with a forceful exhale.

Buck looks at her, deep down he knew she was right. Alex wasn’t coming back and he hadn’t been in contact. Buck needed to focus on himself; he knew he was always feeling sad and lonely and he could be out there enjoying life. But now even if he wanted to do that the new storm called Maddie had rolled in, he just wished he could get a break for once, maybe he should get away, go on a trip.

“You're right, maybe it is time I moved on, maybe leave and travel,” Buck says with a smile. It felt like a great idea and as he looked at Hen he could see the shock on her face

“Buckaroo, I didn’t mean it like that,” her worried tone hitting Buck's ears.

“It's fine Hen, it makes perfect sense. I need time to think and maybe a change of scenery will do me good. Thanks for making me see sense, I'll speak to Bobby in a bit.” Buck explains

Hen goes to say something but the alarm goes off and they all make their way down to the trucks. Buck jumps in as Maddie joins them in the back. Buck looks at her and she smiles but he turns away as the truck speeds off.

“We have a pile-up on the freeway- three cars, no information on major casualties. Buck, I want you and Chimney to work on one car, myself and Kendal will work on another, and Mack and Hen on the third are we clear?” Bobby orders over the radio.

“Yes,” is called out by everyone.

“By the way, just call me Mads, saves time,” Maddie explains and Buck rolls his eyes as he watches the LA streets fly by.

“That’s fine,” Chim explains.

The chatter goes on and Buck doesn’t take any notice until they arrive at the scene. Climbing out Buck can see the three vehicles, it looked simple enough only one wedged in the middle that would need the jaws while the other two looked easy enough to free. Buck and Chimney made their way over to their designated car and as they start to work Buck looks over and sees his sister working hard. He had to admit he was surprised at how quick she was moving with the gear on. He turns his attention back to what he was doing and catches Chim watching him.

“What?” He snaps.

“Nothing. Well, Hen-” Chim starts as he cracks the door open. Buck knew she would say something, most likely what they were talking about on the way here. “-she says you may go traveling, why now?”

“No reason, Hen explained- well she was her usual blunt self- that I need to face facts so I am, and maybe I deserve to see some of the places Alex has seen,” Buck says.

“Or is it you hope you will bump into him?” Chim asks looking at Buck and to be honest, Buck hadn’t thought about that.

“I never thought about that, but I don’t think I could see him again. It would hurt too much; I need to move on.” Buck turns his attention to the driver they were now looking at.

“Hi, my name is Chimney and that’s Buck. We're here to help, do you have any pain anywhere?” Chim asks the driver.

“Just in my neck” The lady explains.

“Whiplash?” Buck asks looking at Chim.

“Can you move your legs and arms for me, is there any pain?” Chim asks.

“Yeah, I can and there is no pain.”

“Good, most likely whiplash," Chim confirms. "Let's get a neck brace on you and get you out, eh.”

Buck passes the brace to Chim who attaches it to the woman. Buck loved working with Chimney. He would show Buck how to do things if it was time permitting; if it was something serious Chim would work a lot quicker. Buck made mental notes and helped Chim get the driver out and escort her to the ambulance. Once there, they explained to the medic their diagnosis and made their way back to the truck.

“Buck, I know it sounds selfish of me but stay. I know it will be hard with your sister here, but it wouldn’t be the same without you and I know Bobby and Hen will feel the same,” Chim says as they walk.

“I know Chim, but maybe for once, I need to be the selfish one and do something for me. I am always doing everything for everyone else and I’m not complaining as I love doing it... but I feel I’m owed this, you know,” Buck replies as they arrive at the truck.

“I know you do Buck, and I don’t think you are being selfish. I get it but please, think long and hard before you commit,” Chim asks anxiously.

“Commit to what?” Maddie asks.

Buck lets out a huff. “Nothing that concerns you." He walks away from them.

He rounds the side of the truck and sees Bobby looking at him and shaking his head, obviously not impressed with Buck's attitude towards his sister while they are out.

“Buck, what was that?” Bobby questions, disappointed.

“What, we weren’t dealing with anyone, and Chim and I were having a private conversation so I did nothing wrong. Look, I had the talk with Chim and while I’m at work I will be professional okay? Work is work- everything else stays out, remember?” Buck says with a smirk.

“Don’t quote my sayings back to me or I'll put you on cleaning duty,” Bobby smiles back. “But we do need a chat when we get back don’t, we?” He adds with a knowing look.

“It will be good to get your input on what I’ve been thinking,” Buck hints.

“Okay, let's get packed up and head back and we will chat,” Bobby says and Buck smiles back.

He helps Bobby finish up packing the truck and he climbs in the truck. Full conversations go quiet as he takes a seat and places his headset on and looks around the cabin and Hen gives him a smile that he returns. The truck starts up and Buck yet again watches the LA streets go by as chatter resumes in the background. He spaces in and out, hearing Hen and Chim asking Maddie questions, noting that they avoid anything to do with himself which he is thankful for. It was hard enough having his sister there, let alone talking about him. Finally arriving back at the station, Buck is the first out and heads to hang his gear and as he turns Maddie stands there smiling at him. He lets a small smile slip and walks off; he knew it would be a long day so best try to be civil. He could do civil; if not for himself then the team, he didn’t want his negativity affecting them. Walking through the bay he sees Bobby who signals him to his office and follows him in.

“So, what you do want to talk about?” Buck asks even though he knew there were only a few options to choose from.

“Well, how about the one that joined us today?” Bobby asks.

Buck knew it would be this most likely followed by Alex and then his idea to travel. He looks around the room, glancing at all the papers on the wall and then to Bobby who was just looking at Buck. This is one of the things he liked about Bobby; he would never push him to talk, he just let Buck open up slowly.

“I just can't forgive her for leaving me, she promised to be with me but she up and left the first chance she got. I had to deal with my parents alone and my sexuality which then made my parents a hundred times worse and when I tried asking her to come to help me, she wouldn’t. We lost touch and I moved on but the hurt of being left was still there. Then everything with Alex happened and now seeing her and still dealing with Alex leaving... it hit home, Bobby. That I am always the one who seems to be left behind and I am always doing the right thing for everyone but when is it my time, Bobby?” Buck forces out, feeling tears form. He hated opening up and knew the second he did the tears would come, but Bobby would never judge him.

“Buck, I can't give you all the answers on what’s best to do. I know you have the biggest heart and even with everything you have been through it still shines through, you come to work and I see how much you have grown. I know everything with Alex is raw and you need to process and make a decision but from what I can see he left you. I know that sounds harsh but I can't see you suffer thinking he is coming back when he clearly isn’t. When was the last time you spoke to him, be honest with me” Bobby finishes and Buck cannot help but feel guilty that he had put Bobby in the awkward spot.

“Over a week, I tried calling and texting but no reply,” Buck says.

“So, nothing at all. Buck, that isn’t fair. My advice is you need to move on with your life, you are twenty-eight, you still have loads going for you and I’m here for you,” Bobby says, strongly.

“I know, Bobby. I was talking to Chim and Hen and I was thinking maybe I would go traveling... " Buck hesitates to finish his thoughts. "...and maybe put in a transfer to another station." He cringes at the last bit, especially when he sees the look on Bobby's face.

“No Buck, I won’t do a transfer- you belong here. I know it's tough with your sister being here, but is running away the right answer?” Bobby questions him.

“I'm not running away, just everything here reminds me of Alex. I know eventually my sister and I will get on the same page, but then I will still have the reminders of Alex and it's too much to bear.” Buck is glaring at the ground as he finishes.

“Okay, how about I arrange a few weeks off for you as vacation, you have racked up a lot of time off as you're always here covering. During that time, find somewhere to live to get you out of Alex’s place and do some traveling." Bobby looks deep into his eyes, hoping Buck can see his pleading in them. "But promise me you will come back to us."

Before he can answer the alarm goes off once more.

“Saved by the bell, I'll want your answer later,” Bobby speaks as they both rush to get their gear on.

Once in the truck, they start on the way and Buck glances at his sister who gives him a sheepish smile. He smiles back and looks out the window. He knew he needed to talk to his sister and most likely would end up in a shouting match, but at the end of it all, he knows they will be better for it. Plus, having her by his side might make moving out of Alex’s easier.

“We have a tower block fire at a private clinic. From what we can tell there may be several people trapped so we will be going inside. Two more stations are joining us since the fire is moving so quickly. So, when we get there, we move double-time, understand?" barks Bobby, briefing the team quickly.

Everyone voices their affirmatives.

Buck hated these kinds of calls. Nine times out of ten they always find at least one person who has died and hated seeing the families' faces as they are brought out, but he is hoping today is a different story. The ride there is in silence, everyone getting into their own headspace, ready to do whatever is necessary to save lives.

Pulling up they all step out, staring up at the flames shooting through broken windows.

“Right, we need to move fast. With it being a doctor's clinic there are highly explosive materials inside as well as other chemical’s so watch what you touch. Keep low, keep steady, keep in contact,” Bobby explains. “Buck and Chimney, I want you to go in and start on the level below the fire. Check every room, understand?"

“Yes, Cap,” Buck says, looking to Chim as they head to get suited up.

“Ready for a race,” Buck taunts while sliding on his oxygen tank.

“It's not a race, but we both know I'm quicker,” Chim jokes back, sliding his own tank on.

“Ah, but that’s a good eight flights of stairs we gotta get up,” Buck explains as they check each other's lines.

“True that, but you know the story of the hare and the turtle,”

“Okay, we shall see,” Buck smirks as he pulls his face mask on, Chimney responding the same way.

“Radio check, you read?” Chim calls out.

“Roger, do you read?” Buck responds.

“Copy,” Chim replies. "Bobby, you read us both?"

“Loud and clear, be safe,” is his answer.

Buck and Chim make their way around and towards a fire exit leading to the stairs when Buck spots an elderly woman and a little boy waving at them. He looks at Chim who starts to make his way over; if they had anyone in the building, they would know roughly which direction to head in. As they headed over, Buck noticed the little boy had blonde curls, red glasses and was leaning on a pair of crutches.

"Are you both okay?" questions Buck, glancing between the pair."

“My grandson, he is in there!” the woman exclaims loudly.

“Where was the last place you knew he was?" asks Chim.

“He messaged me that he was done and would meet us in the car. He just needed to run to the restroom. His doctor is on the floor right below the fire, please you have to help him.” Just as she finishes, a massive explosion rocks the area.

Buck turns and starts running with Chimney following him. The woman shouts something, but they don't catch it as they enter the building.

**Eddie- Inside Just Before Explosion**

Eddie was finishing up after seeing his doctor. He had sent a text to his Abuela that he was done and would be out shortly; he just needed to use the restroom. He hated having to explain where he was going all the time but understood why, he knew full well she would be waiting with his son and would moan at him if he was a bit late. After washing his hands and drying them, he opened the door, noticing the air smelled a bit funny but brushing it off. He knew his senses were all over the place at the moment and couldn’t be trusted.

Walking out, he noticed the offices were darker than normal while the lights on the wall were flashing. He looked around confused and glances into an office that was beside the restroom, unable to see anyone. Making his way through the hall he can't help but notice each office he passed was empty; almost like people had just disappeared. Approaching the elevator, he presses the button but nothing happened. Pressing it again, he saw the elevator was still unresponsive so he smacked the button to see if it would do anything. The third time's the charm, right?

When it still didn't respond he turned around towards the reception for his doctor, hoping someone might be there still. As he did, he felt the ground rumble under his feet, then feeling something smash into his back. Knocked down in shock as he wasn't expecting to be hit, he tries to move, unable to do so. He can tell one of his legs is pinned and feels blood start seeping around him.

“Help!” Eddie shouts, but no one is around to hear him.

Looking around, his attention is brought to the orange glow above him. The flames flicker across the open hole and burning embers start falling. He watches as they land on papers left on a desk and within seconds the office is on fire. He continues trying as hard as he can to pull his leg free, but feeling no give whatsoever.

“HELP ME, PLEASE!” He shouts again and again and still nothing in response but the glow of the flames and building around him.

Eddie can feel the tiredness seeping in his bones, feels his energy draining from the blood loss. He has run out of adrenaline now too, but one thing he learned from the Army is knowing he cannot fall asleep right now. He just can't...

“I'M HERE!” he yells out, but his voice is fading fast as his eyes close. Eddie rests his head on the ground as the fire builds around him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck heads to help, and ends up at the hospital himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter hope you enjoy, thanks to Guam_girl10150 for been my beta on this, hope you all enjoy

Buck charges up the stairs, the adrenaline pumping through his body, pushing him harder and faster. All other thoughts in his life have disappeared; his main focus is in front of him and this is why he loved his job. No matter what was happening in his life, he knew he could do his job.

As they climb the fifth flight of stairs, he looks back and can see Chim is behind him but falling behind with each step Buck takes. He looks closer at Chimney, seeing him looking a fair bit tired and huffing, which causes Buck to chuckle to himself. Looking up he can see the dense, black smoke descending from the level where the fire originated

"Come on, we need to be quicker Chim!" 

“Hey, some of us ain't as young as you," Chim shoots back. “Nor do we all have long, lanky legs which lets us skip steps” 

“Well, we can always try to stretch you when we get back to the station,” Buck retaliates.

There are a few seconds of laughter before they start going up again but as they reach the bottom of the seventh flight, Buck comes across a woman lying unconscious with a pool of blood surrounding her head. He looks her over and can see she has a large cut on her head and assumes she knocked it on the wall as she rushed down the stairs. Chim arrives and starts checking her over.

“Hey Cap, we found a woman at the bottom of the stairs between levels six and seven.” Buck calls over the radios.

“Okay, bring her down. The fire is getting worse and spreading faster; level seven will be taken over before you get a chance to check it properly. I want you both out now, and Buck- that is an order, not a request.” You could hear the command in Bobby's voice.

Buck thinks for a second. He knows he should go as Bobby wouldn’t specify that it's an order unless he was serious, that they couldn’t control the fire from outside. If there is potentially another person up there, though, he has to at least look. He can’t risk a little boy losing his dad, especially if Buck had a chance to save him.

"I'll head up to seven and quickly check it." He ignores the command, following his instincts.

“Buckley, I gave an order, get out now," Bobby's stern voice says.

Buck looks at Chim who shakes his head.

“Chim, I've got to-” Buck starts but is interrupted by his friend.

“Go, but five minutes and you're out. Once I have taken the lady down and she is secure, I'll come back up so I expect to see you coming down. Understand?" Chim says adamantly.

"Yeah, I'll be in and out," Buck assures him.

Chimney laughs out his response despite the seriousness of the situation. "You know he is going to have us both in his office later."

"It'll be worth it if I find the guy."

"Go, don't waste time," Chim scolds before adding a stern “Be safe!”

Buck looked up at the stairs in front of him, the smoke was nearly on them. Turning on the flashlight attached to his jacket and picking up the extra flashlight, he turns to see Chim grab the woman in a fireman's carry and start down the stairs. Facing the stairs once again he sees as the smoke starts to get thicker and darker, making it hard to find the emergency door. He runs his hand along the wall, feeling for the handle and pulling once it's in his grasp. Looking through the doorway, all that is visible is a thick veil of smoke.

"Hello, LAFD! Is there anyone up here?" Buck shouts, getting no response.

He knows if there is someone up here they could be unconscious or trapped, so he starts moving forward. He remembers the lady outside had explained the man had gone to the restroom so Buck moves slowly, looking at doors and shining the light on the front seeing if he can find a sign. Walking through the level, the orange glow starts to get more prominent; Bobby was right- the fire was spreading most likely due to the explosion. It wouldn’t be long before this level was lost too.

“Buckley, why the hell are you still in there?” Bobby yells through the radios.

“I couldn’t just leave, and you would do the same! I’m nearly to the last location the man was seen, then I’ll be out. I promise!" 

“Be quick,” his captain calls back.

“Roger.” He continues looking, finally finding the bathroom.

“LAFD, anyone in here!” Buck shouts and when no answer comes he checks the stalls: all empty, then heads back out.

The smoke had become worse and was making it difficult to see even with the flashlight. Hoping the man had the right idea and went low to try to crawl out, he lowers himself down and shines his light down the hall. Catching a glimpse of a man laying on the floor, his leg looked to be pinned under rubble that had fallen.

“Cap, I found him; he is pinned but I'll be as quick as I can." 

“Roger, Chimney is on his way back up,” is the reply he gets.

Buck moves towards the man and notices the man is out cold. Taking off his mask, he can instantly smell the smoke and the stinging sensation in his eyes as the smoke hits them. Immediately after it's followed by a wave of heat. He looks down at the man and lowers his ear to his face; he can hear the faint, but struggling breathing due to smoke inhalation no doubt. Buck rises back up and looks at the man. His face was covered in dirt and ash, he had short hair and stubble on his cheeks. He stares a bit longer, taken aback at how nice the man looked, all things considered.

"Head in the game, Evan," he says aloud to himself as he picks his mask up off the ground.

Buck places his mask on the man's face while he moves the rubble. Lifting and moving the rubble he frees the leg and sees a deep cut. A fair amount of blood had soaked through his trousers and pooled under him.

"Sorry mate, this will hurt but at least you're out cold for this part," Buck says to himself. He always found talking to himself helped to calm himself down before he started on a task.

Grabbing bandages and gauze from his bag, he places the gauze on the wound and then wraps the bandages tight. He can see the blood soaking through so he grabs a medical tube to act as a tourniquet and wraps it around the upper thigh to try to slow the bleeding. The man most likely passed out due to blood loss but hopefully he can get him out in time. The sound of rubble falling fills the air, and as he finishes wrapping the leg, Eddie wakes up.

As Eddie wakes he is confused. He doesn’t feel the weight pressing on his leg and he is breathing easier- if there was a fire shouldn't he be struggling to breathe? He did not want to open his eyes, scared of what he would see. The last thing he remembered was the flames. Slowly opening his eyes, he sees some kind of glass covering over his face and moves his hands. He feels it is definitely a mask and as he looks around he sees a man in a firefighter uniform triaging his leg. He tries to shift but the man turns slightly so he can see the side of his face.

“Hey, it's okay, I’m just wrapping your leg." Out of the corner of his eye, Buck can see the man looks confused, most likely due to the situation. “I’m Buck, what’s your name?” Buck asks while moving the last bits of rubble.

Eddie looks at him- he cannot see the man's lips properly so can't tell what he is saying. He shrugs at the man and hopes he gets the hint; it was embarrassing to Eddie, having to be so vulnerable, especially in situations like this where it's literally life and death. He felt so weak.

Buck turns and looks at him, maybe the explosion damaged his hearing. He moves towards the man and gently takes the mask off Eddie's face and mouths slowly, "My name is Buck, what's yours?"

“Eddie,” Eddie replies happily since he understood what Buck had said.

“We need to move, can you walk?” Buck gets back to the situation at hand.

“This is no time to talk," Eddie is confused, then notices the smile on the firefighters face.

"Walk," Buck repeats, tapping the guys good leg, confused as to why the guy thought he said 'talk.'

Eddie tries to remember some sign language he had been learning, after so long putting it off as he saw it as another thing people would use to show his weakness and failure, he reluctantly starts making signs towards Buck. The sheer look of horror on his face said it all to Eddie, either this man didn’t know what Eddie was saying or Eddie was doing it wrong.

Buck watched as Eddie signed and he knew instantly he was not experienced nor did he have the knowledge to talk to the man. He knew he had let the shocked look show on his face, which had made Eddie upset when Eddie turned his head and looked away with a sad look on his face. Buck felt bad for the man, he was trying to communicate and he failed and let the man down. The sound of more rubble falling, and the creaking of the building had Buck realizing he had to do his job and get them out.

"Cap, the man is awake, I’m on my way back," Buck keeps his captain appraised of the situation.

He grabs his mask and looks at Eddie who is watching him at the sudden movement Buck made. Buck gestures his hand and the mask, showing Eddie he wants him to put the mask back on, and leans forward to do so.

"You should wear it," Eddie speaks out loud, pushing Buck's hand away. He watches as Buck smiles and then slides the mask over Eddie's head before slowly picking him up. He did not like the fact he was now being carried by another man, even if it is a firefighter. People would look at him as a weakling; but what choice did he have? He could feel himself going faint again.

Buck charges forward as fast as he can, but with the extra weight of Eddie it was a lot harder, he was taking deeper breaths even with the smoke. Slowly, he heads towards the fire exit thanking himself mentally for making notes of where he had come from as he walked through the door, ending up on the stairs. The light below filled Buck with hope. Gingerly, he makes his way down the flights of stairs, all while hearing the crashes and bangs from above. Walking down further, it became easier to breathe as the smoke was getting thinner. Arriving at the fourth flight he sees Chimney coming towards them with his medical bag, flashing him a smile as he lays Eddie down for a second so Chim can check him over more thoroughly.

“What do we have?” Chim questions.

“Male; early thirties, deep laceration on the left leg. I bandaged it up as best I could and tied a tube to the upper thigh to try to slow the bleeding, I also think he is deaf as we couldn’t communicate properly. He was using sign language and I could not understand him,” Buck finishes, looking sheepish.

“Hey, not everyone can sign. Let’s get him outside where it's safe. Also, it looks like he is out again," Chim adds, and Buck looks to see Eddie's head is resting on its side, eyes closed.

Buck just nods as he bends down and picks Eddie up again. With the help of Chim, they make their way down the last few flights and out the door where Hen is waiting with a gurney ready.

Buck takes in the fresh air as it hits his face, feeling Hen and Chimney helping as he lays Eddie down, removing Bucks mask and handing it back to him. He watches as Chim and Hen start to work on the man's leg, properly cleaning and rebandaging it.

"Not a bad job Buck, we'll make a semi-decent medic out of you yet," Hen smiles at her youngest coworker.

"Thanks," Buck smiles and turns to see Bobby standing behind him with his arms crossed.

“Buckley,” Bobby starts before Buck interrupts him.

“I know Bobby- I’m in trouble for disobeying your orders and I’m sorry, but I could not leave knowing someone could be up there,” Buck voices vehemently. 

“I get it kid, I would have done the same, but let’s just say I gave you the talk, alright?” Bobby assures him with a smile.

Buck turns back and watches as Hen and Chim wheel Eddie off to the ambulance, as they disappear in the vehicle he sees his sister and a few other fighters hosing the building down trying to keep the fire at bay. Smiling, he thinks she really does know how to do her job, what else had he missed over the years? Maybe there had been enough sulking towards her, maybe he needed to give her the chance to talk.

“Did you get my daddy out?” a small voice asks from behind him, and Buck jumps and turns around to see the little boy again. Smiling, he bends down to his level.

"I did. Your daddy is on the way to the hospital, he had a cut on his leg but he will be fine," Buck quickly tries to reassure him.

“Does that mean he will be able to hear again?” Buck was like a dear in headlights, he did not want to upset the child by saying no, but what else could he do?

"Christopher Diaz, what have I told you about walking off? And you know your dad's hearing will not come back, we have explained this to you," the older woman scolds. "Thank you for saving my grandson," she turns her attention to Buck.

"Just doing my job, but when you see him please tell him I'm sorry," Buck speaks with a sheepish look on his face.

“What for?” 

“I may have made him feel uncomfortable, I don't know ASL. He tried communicating and I couldn’t understand him or give him an answer." Buck feels horrible.

“It will be okay, you got him out. Eddie is still learning himself, after many,  _ many  _ months of refusing to do it, but I will pass the message on for you.” Turning her attention to the young boy, Buck knows the conversation is finished. “Come on Chris, we best get to the hospital and see how your father is doing” 

"Thank you for saving my dad," Chris throws his arms around Buck and hugs him; Buck is taken aback by the hug, but hugs him back, smiling as he watches them leave.

"One of the great things about the job," Bobby speaks up from behind him.

“Yeah, it is,” is all Buck can manage.

“Right, back to work! I need you get on the hose over there with Jones and help put this fire out," Bobby goes back to being Captain.

“Roger, Cap,” Buck answers.

He runs over and helps Jones with the hose. After a few hours they managed to get the fire under control and put out, but large parts of the building were destroyed. Looking up, Buck can see the twisted metal frame still standing above the fifth floor, but other than that it had been burnt down. They began to pack up their gear as another team had arrived to give the 118 team a well-earned rest, and Buck was happy to be finishing up. It had been a long day, and as they headed back to the truck to return to the station, Buck pulled his gloves off. Spotting blood on his left one, and a cut through the material, he looks at his hand, red from the oozing liquid.

“How did you do that?” Bobby questions, seeing the damage to his hand.

“Must have been when I pulled the guy out of the rubble, I never felt a thing if I’m honest. I’ll get Hen to look at it when she is back,” Buck explains as he chucks his gloves in the storage compartment of the truck.

"No, we will drop you off at the hospital- I want it checked out now. It was a fire in a doctors office, last thing I need is you catching something," Bobby insists.

“You think it could be?” Buck questions. He was always one to wonder about things like this. “I suppose the rubble could have had chemicals spill on to them, but I doubt it," The last place he wanted to be was in the hospital. He hated it, but always seemed to end up there at least every other month.

"Better be safe than sorry," Maddie says and Buck feels his back stiffen; they weren't on speaking terms really, so he didn’t like the fact she was listening in on his conversations. He had to act professional.

"True. Alright, drop me off," he keeps a neutral tone and catches Bobby shaking his head.

"Okay, let's get you bandaged up, don't want you to drip blood in my cab," is all Bobby says while he is grabbing the first aid kit.

Buck watches as Bobby opens the kit, and sees Maddie behind Bobby glancing over. He lets a huff out- he might as well try to talk to her; she is, after all, going to be around until he can get away.

“Hey Bobby, can Maddie do it?” Buck reluctantly asks and notices the concerned look Bobby gives him but just nods, watching Bobby smile in response.

“Sure, Kendall, can you patch Buck while I sort some stuff out?” Bobby turns around to her.

"Erm, yeah sure," Maddie answers as she takes the kit off Bobby and watches as he disappears.

"Just like when we were kids," Buck starts, hoping to break the ice. He knows she may not want to talk much to him after his rant earlier.

"Evan, we don't have to do this, you know. I understand why you're mad, but you forget that I know you and if you don’t want to talk- we can just be professional,” Maddie interrupts and Buck feels a bit guilty, but he had every right to be mad.

"Maddie, I am mad but we both know we will be fine, it's just a lot has happened and you were like the icing on the cake of a really shit few weeks, maybe once I get back if I come back maybe we can talk," Buck says

“What do you mean if you come back?” She asks as she gives the cut a clean making Buck flinch

“Like I said a lot has happened, Bobby has given me some time off to think things through, but I may find something out there for me.” Buck knows that he sounds selfish, but he doesn’t care.

“Then that’s what you have to do. Evan, I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most, and things happened to me that stopped me being there, but when you are ready we can talk. I promise you, I’m here now.” She applies some gauze and a bandage as she speaks.

“I can't promise anything, okay?" Buck feels better than he did this morning with his sister.

She nods at him while finishing up. Once he and Maddie are in the truck, they head to the hospital .

“Now Buck, when you’re done give me a call and I'll come get you," Bobby calls back.

“Will do.”

“Can’t believe we're taking you to the hospital again," Jones comments.

“Oi, it’s not my fault danger finds me,” Buck replies with a grin.

“I think secretly, you have a thing for nurses,” Jones giggles and Buck shoots him a glare.

“I do not, but at least their bedside manner is loads better than Hen and Chim’s!” Buck snarks back, and there’s laughter through the cab.

“Well, don’t be too long, I have jobs I need you to take care of before you finish,” Bobby replies, trying to keep some semblance of professionalism.

“I will try, but you know hospitals." Buck is smiling at his captain.

They pull up at the main entrance and Buck gets out, heading to reception where the girl behind the counter smiles at him.

“Hey Buck, what do we got today?” 

"Hey, Alice; just a cut hand today, but it happened inside the fire at the clinic. Bobby wants me to get checked just to make sure nothing crept in, you know with my luck," Buck chuckles.

“Better to be safe than sorry, and with your luck, it's definitely better to be safe,” Alice replies with a smile. “Take a seat, I'll get a nurse to come over in a bit.” 

“Oh! Could you please see how the man Hen and Chim brought in is doing? His name was Eddie, he had a cut on his leg and lost a lot of blood.” 

"Will do, now sit," she orders, pointing at a seat.

Buck takes a seat and looks around the waiting room he was  _ oh so  _ familiar with. The clinical smell and white walls brought up so many bad memories from times he has had to sit in this room. Most times though, he was brought in on a stretcher and taken straight back. He chuckles to himself- maybe traveling wasn't a good idea. Trouble did seem to find him wherever he was and the last thing he needs now is a hefty hospital bill from abroad. Though if he didn’t travel, what would he do in the time off? He knew he had to find a place to live, but what then? He let a loud sigh out much to the displeasure of the others in the waiting room who were now looking at him oddly, no doubt due to him being filthy from the fire. Rolling his eyes he digs his phone out of the zipped pocket in his turncoat; no new notifications, not that he's surprised.

He starts to scroll through his Facebook timeline, knowing it was a bad idea but he was bored. After a few posts he sees one from Alex. It was in Rome again, but this time at a restaurant with a table set for two, there were even some roses. Buck could feel his heart breaking at that moment; had Alex met someone out there? He stared longer at the picture looking for a caption but there wasn't one, and while people were commenting how beautiful it looked, there were no responses from Alex. Feeling the tears starting to form, Buck wondered how he could be such a fool.

“Hey, Mr. Fireman.” A voice breaks Bucks attention from his screen. Looking up, he sees Chris standing there with his grandmother behind him.

“Hey, Christopher right?” Buck asks.

“Yep, what’s your name?” Chris returns, tilting his head at Buck.

"It's Evan, but everyone calls me Buck. How is your dad doing?" 

“Buck- that’s a funny name. My dad is asleep, the doctors said it could be a while before he wakes so we went back home to get some stuff. Do you want to see my coloring books?" Chris asks.

“Chris, he might be busy," his grandmother intervenes.

“It’s okay, it will be a nice distraction while I wait," Buck is quick to assure her, holding his bandaged hand up.

“What did you do?" Chris asks, looking at his hand.

“I just cut it at the fire, but my captain told me I needed to get it looked at just in case anything got inside," Buck answers with a smile.

“Woah! So like chemicals, could it mutate and grow more fingers?” Chris says with a grin.

“Maybe, who knows. I might get superpowers, but if I am honest- I would like to keep my normal hand,” Buck chuckles at the little boy.

“Mr. Buckley, if you will come with me,” a nurse interrupts them.

"Well, I best be off."

"Awww, I thought you wanted to see my books," Chris has a pout across his face.

“Christopher, he needs to see the nurse to get his hand better," his grandmother scolds.

“I know, it would just be nice to spend some time with other people. I’m sorry Buck," Chris apologizes, and Buck feels a bit guilty for giving him hope.

"I'll tell you what, what room is your dad in?” Buck asks looking at his grandmother.

“He is on the fourth floor, room seven."

“Well, if it’s alright, once I’m done with the nurse I will pop up and come see the books. I’m in no rush back, plus it'll be nice to see how Eddie is doing," Buck says with a smile.

“Really, can he Abulea, please?” Chris begs his grandmother.

"Fine then, but only for a bit understand," She acquiesces.

“Cool, I’ll see you up there," Buck replies as he follows the nurse.

"You are too kind Buck," comes from the nurse.

“I know Claire, but who could refuse that kid, he is so adorable," Buck can't help but say with a smile on his face.

"And his dad isn't that bad looking either," Claire smirks at him.

Buck chuckles. To be honest, he did look at Eddie but obviously in a rush. Maybe it was not the right time to start looking for someone though, he needed to sort his life out before dragging someone into his mess.

“I hadn’t noticed- you know burning building, leg wound, him being deaf; a lot to deal with especially, when I don’t know sign language,” Buck says with a smile, hiding the fact he had checked Eddie out.

“I know, and you deserve so much better Buck," Claire says. Buck hated that everyone knew about him and Alex, but it was his own fault for getting injured so much on jobs.

They arrive at the room and the nurse signals for Buck to sit. She starts to unwrap the bandage and places his hand over a bowl surrounded by paper towels.

“Now, this may hurt but I need to swab inside the cut and clean it out. Then, we’ll get it tested along with a blood sample, is that okay?”

"Yeah, it's fine," Buck agrees, like he really has a choice.

"Here, have a read of this while I do everything, it might take your mind off it all." She passes a leaflet to him.

Buck looks and sees that it's about learning sign language and he chuckles to himself. He reads through the pamphlet, trying not to flinch as Claire does the swab and draws blood. The pamphlet advertises a course he can do over a few weeks, which would be handy as it would give him something to focus on. If, that is, he can get on the course soon, first he has to work on finding somewhere new to live.

"All done," the nurse says "What do you think? Has the leaflet helped you?"

“Yeah! It’s great, I may take the full course; it could come in very handy at calls," Buck says with a smile and places the leaflet in his pocket.

"Good to hear, now let's get this wrapped and you're free to go- we should have your test back soon but if you feel ill come straight back,” she explains.

“Yeah, I know the drill,” Buck answers with a wry chuckle.

“Good. Oh, Alice was asking me for information on the guy your team brought in, she says you were asking." The smirk on Claires face is obvious.

"Nothing like that, you know I like to know how they’re doing after everything that happens," Buck says, rolling his eyes.

“Well, he lost a lot of blood so had a transfusion, a few bruises but he should be fine, most likely will be out till tomorrow. Though, I’m guessing you are heading up there soon anyways.” She gives him a knowing smile.

“Yup, I told Chris I would so I’m not backing out now.” 

“I’ll see you later then, when I do my rounds.” With a grin, Claire finishes wrapping his hand and he is free to go.

Buck leaves the exam room, heading up to the fourth floor. Walking down the hall, he stops suddenly.

‘ _ What am I doing? He is a patient! You’re just going to see his son- who asked you to.’ He can’t help the back-and-forth of his thoughts. _

Buck was so conflicted; is it wrong to visit a patient? In the end, he decided he couldn't let the kid down so walked down to room number seven. Standing outside the door, he peers through the window and sees Chris sitting with his abuela. He looks towards the bed, seeing Eddie laying there all cleaned up and bandaged properly.

Buck knocks on the door and watches as Christopher waves him in.

"You came!" Chris exclaimed.

“Of course, but I can’t stay long, so let’s see these amazing books you have!” He thinks he has just as much excitement in his voice as the young boy.

"They're over here. What did the nurse say; will you grow more fingers?” Chris asks.

“She said I might grow seven more hands!” 

“Wow, you can help a lot of people then, with so many hands,” Chris laughs and Buck joins in, placing his turncoat off to the side, hoping not to get much dirt on the chair.

He settles next to Chris as he goes through all his books. Looking around, he sees Christophers grandmother watching him.

“Evan, I hate to ask this, but would you mind staying for a few moments while I nip out, I need to make some calls?" Abuela asks him.

“Sure, I understand. Take as long as you need, it’s fine, and I’m sure Chris will keep me busy,” Buck smiles reassuringly at the older woman.

"Chris, behave," Abuela says as she leaves.

Buck watches as Chris explains his books and all his colorings, then moves to his drawings. Buck watches on, and as he does he sees pictures of explosions and angels, thoroughly intrigued.

“What is this one about?” Buck points to the one grabbing his attention.

“That’s the day when my mom went to heaven and Daddy lost his hearing. There was a big explosion where my mom worked and my dad was too close to the explosion. So he lost his hearing, but my mom..." Chris stopped and Buck could see the tears swimming in his eyes.

"Hey buddy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Come here," Buck says, pulling Chris in for a hug.

"It's not fair!" Chris sobs into Bucks arms, further breaking his heart.

“I know, but I’m sure your mom is looking down and watching out for you both.” He’s trying his hardest to comfort the boy.

“Thank you, Buck, for being so kind. Most people ignore us once they see my dad can’t hear." 

“What do you mean?” Buck asks as he breaks the hug.

"Like when we go shopping, if we're in the way in an aisle my dad can’t hear people so I have to tap him on his shoulder to get him to move. People say bad words but my dad doesn't hear them, but I do and I explain he can't hear and they say it isn't their problem," Chris says with a sad face.

Buck hates how awful some people can be, especially to such a sweet kid.

“I’m sorry people are like that. Does your dad not get any help at home for you both?” Buck questions, knowing that with Chris on crutches it can’t be easy.

“We have my Abuela- she comes over to the flat to help, but that’s it. Dad had a falling out with his mom and dad. They wanted us to stay with them, because of my CP and my dad being deaf they were saying he couldn't be a proper father. So we came here, but I don't know what’s gonna happen now.”

“I’m sure he has something figured out, buddy. How about we do some coloring?" Buck changes the subject, hoping to cheer Chris up and take his mind off everything happening.

They spend the rest of the time coloring until Abuela returns.

“Sorry it took so long; I hope you don’t get into much trouble when you get back to work. If you do, tell them to talk to me.”

“No, it’ll be fine, I’ll just say there was a big waiting time. I’m glad to have helped, we had a lot of fun, didn’t we Chris?” Buck is quick to reassure her.

“We did, can we do it again sometime?” Chris is looking between Buck and Abuela.

"Maybe, it depends if Buck is free. Being a firefighter is a busy life," Abuela says.

“Yeah buddy, but I will tell you what- I'll give your Abuela my number and she can text me, and if I have a day free I'll let her know. We'll arrange something, maybe I’ll even bring some paints," Buck is looking forward to spending more time with the family. Especially once Eddie is actually awake and coherent.

"Yay, thank you Buck!" Chris cheers at the promises. Buck turns to Abuela next.

"Thank you for that, it definitely helped," she says with a heavy sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just Eddie's parents are coming, they weren’t happy about what’s going on. Anyways, that’s not your problem, thank you so much for saving my grandson and for looking after Chris.” She says, quickly deflecting the conversation.

"Don’t worry about it, it was fun. Here is my number; I better get going now before my captain moans,” Buck chuckles at the reaction he would get from Bobby.

“Goodbye, Buck.”

"Bye, cya Chris!" 

"Bye Buck," Chris calls out. Buck waves as he turns to leave.

Buck freezes as he looks at the bed. He hadn't really looked since he was busy with Chris, but looked at Eddie now. He was all cleaned up, his hair looked fuzzy from the wash and he had a five o'clock shadow around his chin. All in all, he looked amazing.

Buck had heard about love at first sight but never dreamed he would experience it. Yet here he was, he felt a connection had been made and he didn't know if his heart could take it. He already knew Eddie recently lost Chris’s mom so may not be interested in him, but all Buck could think was  _ ‘Wow, he is perfect.’ _

He left quickly, stealing one last look at Eddie before leaving with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading again comments and kudos always welcomed

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments and kudos are all welcomed  
> Find me on tumblr @afstory1988 and my beta's is @Guamgirl10150
> 
> Thank you for reading


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